Music: David Brooks Shows Us Why NYT Doesn't Charge To Read Columnists Anymore

Brooks: "Evidently the disc jockey, or deeee JAY, places a turntable on either side of him or herself and proceeds to syncopate the revolving discs rhythmically..."

David Brooks, Bush lover (of the W. variety) and all around low-watt bulb, deigned to descend from his silver cloud and offer his predigested opinion on The State of Music Today in The New York Times. Put Sasha Frere-Jones (writer of the goddamn piece that wouldn't die), The Allman Brothers, Barack Obama and roots music in the word blender and voila! Instant punditry.

E-Street band guitarist and Sopranos Lieutenant Little Steven Van Zandt also shows up to lend authenticity to the musty ideas in Brooks' column. His prescription for the fragmented state of music today? Teach rock history in school. I think Sopranos scion Anthony Junior would agree that assigning rock and pop history to high school students is anathema to all that is great and transformative about the music itself. Seriously, that's what one credit college courses are for.

Brooks: Stick to bloviating about politics where your stupidity is a known quantity.

Van Zandt: Enjoy touring with Brooooooce, bring Sil out of retirement for a sitcom, just please don't be one of those old guys moaning about the lack of history in music and music history in people. For chrissakes -- your band is the hot indie touchstone this year! Arcade Fire fans wept -- wept -- at footage of their heroes playing live with Springsteen (the big wusses!) And don't return Brooks' calls!