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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Film: Thanksgiving Turkeys Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

Here are five more filmic disaster areas -- turkeys if you will -- to celebrate Thanksgiving in style. To see the first five click here.

1) Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot – Two stars cross paths in this film – Sylvester Stallone on his way to better things like Tango and Cash, and rising star Estelle Getty – just finding fame on TV's The Golden Girls. This is like the action movie version of a bad Woody Allen routine. Check out the uncomfortably Oedipal shower scene in the trailer below.

2) Megaforce – So many questions. Yes, that is Barry Bostwick, the mayor of Spin City, wearing a disturbingly form-fitting Lycra jumpsuit and a shit-eating grin. Yes indeed, that is Michael Beck, star of Warriors and Xanadu in a matching jumpsuit that facilitates a full rib count. Yes, sadly that is a "flying" motorcycle. Yes, this movie was actually theatrically released and is not a parody. No, that is not Will Ferrell in the tank. No, those reaction shots on the plane do not look even remotely believable. No, motorcycles cannot fly. No, there is no way Netflix is allowed to send anything this toxic in the mail. Enjoy this lovingly assembled lowlights reel:

3) Can’t Stop the Music – The cast list says it all : Olympian Bruce Jenner (in a pair of shorts that would make Tom of Finland blush)! Steve Guttenberg! The Village People!

4) Jack Frost – Those workaholic backstabbing serial-divorcing Hollywood types persist in making movies about taking it easy, enjoying the good things like family and your spouse, being nice and not working so darn hard! Michael Keaton’s entry in this genre has him as a workaholic blues musician named Jack Frost who gets his come-uppance by dying and being re-incarnated as a talking snowman. Creepy! There is an almost as bad horror movie with the same name and the same premise only the protag is an overworked serial killer. This one is scarier. Behold!

5) Goin' Ape! - This was an important transition movie for Tony Danza -- from squat hairy simian co-star Danny DeVito on Taxi to the multiple squat hairy simian costars of Bobby Berosini's Orangutans in Cannonball Run 2. The whole gang -- Danza, DeVito, and Orangutans join forces in this dire inheritance "comedy." Observe:

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