News of The World: Congolese Wang Rustlers on The Prowl For Fresh Meat

"It's shrinkage!"

Horrified Reaction By Noah Mallin

In a truly frightening Reuters story (via boingboing) with clear humanitarian impact, it seems that there has been a spate of penis thefts and malicious penis shrinking in Congo. Police have arrested 13 suspects but more may be at ...er...large. According to the report, the stories have reached fever (tent?) pitch and have "...quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings. " Ah yes, of course...gold rings.

Could this be a plot by e-mail spammers? Can we look forward to Helen Thomas grilling Dana Perino on why the White House isn't doing more to combat this crisis? Please?