TV: Estelle Getty, Salty Irascable Golden Girl, Dies

An Appreciation by Noah Mallin

Estelle Getty, who donned a white wig to play Sophia Petrillo on The Golden Girls in the 1980s and practically stole the show from her three better known castmates, has died. Getty portrayed the mother of Bea Arthur's character though in real life Arthur was actually older. Getty's broad zinger fueled performance netted her seven Emmy noms and one win. In the long years before her Golden Girls success and her initial Broadway stardom in her 60s, she worked as a secretary to make ends meet. Getty has the distinction in starring in one of my prize Thanksgiving turkeys from last year with Sylvester Stallone, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot.

The Golden Girls which in re-runs is one of the only watchable things on Lifetime was a proto- Sex in The City with frank talk about sex, relationships, and aging from a women's perspective. Getty, who was integral to what made the show so funny was a genuine TV pioneer.

TV: Happy Now? Thanks to the Haters Now There's No News -- At Least in England

Interspecies Relations: You Know What They Say: Big Foot = Big Crazy Internet Perv

Expose by Noah Mallin

Leon Harris was always a cheery upbeat presence back when he was on CNN and he brings that same twinkle in the eye to his current gig at DC area station WJLA. Recently they unearthed the story of a Stafford, Virginia gentleman who was convicted of trolling cyberspace looking for teenage boys as sex partners. He does have a good excuse though. Seems he was molested as a youngster by a Bigfoot.

As most psychologists will tell you, those that have been molested by Bigfoot (Bigfeet?) at an impressionable age tend to be more likely to molest youngsters as adults. The folks at WJLA do get extra special credit for tracking down Bigfoot experts for comment.

TV: The Sweet, Sticky Curse of Gilligan's Island

Gilligan and Mary-Anne check out the Professor's kind bud

Of all the characters on Gilligan's Island who I could picture getting stoned, naive man-child Gilligan and sweet girl-next-door Mary-Anne are at the bottom of the list. Now the Professor sure, but mainly for experimental purposes. Ginger? Hell yeah, probably while partying with Bobby Kennedy. The Skipper not so much, he comes off as more of a boozer. The Howell's? You know how the rich do it -- pill-poppin' all the way.

The point is that sweet Mary-Anne, or Dawn Wells as she's known in the flash-forward we like to call real life, has been busted for driving around with weed in her car. She joins the late Bob "Gilligan" Denver who had his own run-ins with Johnny Law over the wacky tobacky.

TV: Is Bitch The New Black? Tina Fey Throws it Down on SNL

Tina Fey: My kind of bitch

Cool chick who graduated Tina Fey returned to her Saturday Night Live alma mater this weekend and just had to take a turn at the anchor desk. She used her spot to make a hilarious and impassioned plea on Hillary Clinton's behalf. Her shootdowns of the anti-Hill arguments were pretty deft. For instance, on the criticism that she can't "control" Bill and would have some kind of co-Presidency:
“That would be terrible, having two intelligent, qualified people working together to solve problems,” going on to say that we need to make sure Starsky doesn't talk to Hutch. It all led up to what she felt really turned people off: They think Hillary is a bitch. "Yeah she is!" she said gleefully, "So am I...so is this one.." she said gesturing towards Amy Poehler. "...bitches get things done!" She then ended with the rousing cry "Bitch is the new black!"

Added to the (not interminable and yet one note) opening sketch which skewered the press' fascination for Obama and their disdain for La Clinton the show is sporting a refreshing against the grain Clinton bias.

The little dumb asses at NBC Universal in their infinite non-wisdom continue to embargo their material from sites like YouTube (despite the huge boost it has given SNL) so unfortunately I've embedded their inferior, NBC approved java-based player clip here:

TV: Better Late Than Never -- Kellie Pickler is Dumb as a Bag of Rocks, Foxworthy is a Pig

Ok, so this has been floating around the series of connected tubes known as the interwebs for a while now but it took the elitist New York Times to draw my snooty nose around in it's direction. This trifecta of head-slapping moments is a perfectly stormy tipping point that includes Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader, American Idol winner Kellie Pickler and You Might Be a Redneck If? auteur Jeff Foxworthy. Here is living breathing proof that George W. Bush won re-election in 2004 fair and square.

TV: Happy C-Day -- Jane Fonda Rhymes With "Stunt" On NBC's Today

George Carlin must have been perking up his ears this morning when former Ted Turner workout machine Jane Fonda and Vagina Monologues author Eve Ensler tore down our last barrier of decency on the airwaves at NBC's Today. Poor Meredith Viera, no doubt she wrangled mightily to insert the word "vagina" into our usually prim, dry, protected morning again and again and just look where it leads! Here are Carlin's seven dirty words you can't say on television, confirming that yes Jane's is right up there:

The Interwebs: CNN.Com Tabloidy Headlines of The Day

Starting today I will be posting the day's best screen grab of sensationalist/dumb/exploitative/wtf? headlines from CNN.Com . The idea for this originated with Gawker, via Slate. Here's Gawker's hilarious rundown of endless bad CNN.Com headers. Their inspiration was a piece on Slate.com by Jack Shafer.

The point is that CNN.Com is so tabloidy it makes the New York Post look like The Economist. Or something. The network itself is not far behind.

TV: Breaking News! GOB Out, Iceman in as New Voice of KITT for NBC's Knight Rider Remake

Arnett responds to the loss of the prized role of KITT...

In a conundrum worthy of his previous TV show Arrested Development, Will Arnett has had to drop the role of the voice of the talking car KITT on the new version of NBC's 80s cheesefest Knight Rider. The role will now be taken by Val Kilmer (!), himself no stranger to the 80s and/or cheese.

It turns out Arnett's automotive vocal talents were already spoken for -- by General Motor's GMC Trucks division. With Knight Rider now aligned with Ford (KITT is a Mustang now -- Pontiac no longer makes the Trans Am) it wouldn't do to have Arnett's distinct gravelly tones adorn a product with a competitor's logo.

Arnett had already wrapped his work on Knight Rider.

How's Kilmer's Voice? This cheesy, 80s scene from the underappreciated Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker comedy Top Secret has the answer:


Also, here's the intro for the original Knight Rider...in German! Dig the Nietzscheian sound of "...ein auto, ein komputer, ein mann..." And yes, series creator Glen A. Larson's theme song is one of the best TV themes ever. As friend-of-the-blog Joni pointed out, with this voiceover it sounds like a Kraftwerk song!

TV: Add The Shield's Shawn Ryan to Hyphenate Strike Team

Throwing cold water on showrunning scabs Shield-style

Attuned as we at POSAS are to all things Shield related I was especially interested in this post from Nikki Finke's Deadline Hollywood Daily blog. In it The Shield creator/producer/ writer Shawn Ryan explains why his fellow showrunners (those writer/producers who oversee quality delivery of each episode of a program) should honor the strike and not try to find ways around it. Finke prints the entirety of his e-mailed plea which includes the high stakes for Ryan personally: Missing out on both the finale episode of his signature show, The Shield, and the pilot episode of his new show The Oaks. Here's his whole letter:

"As you all know by now, we are on Strike. It's sad that we have arrived here and I don't know each and every one of your opinions, but I wanted to share my personal plans for what I intend to do until we have a fair contract.

I am currently quoted in today's Hollywood Reporter as saying that I will do some producing work, but won't do any editing as I consider that to be writing. While I said something similar to that earlier last week (I've learned you can't trust a word of what these trades report), that was before I went to the Showrunners Meeting yesterday and became very crystalized in what I need to do. Like many of you I have spent the last week contemplating what to do in case of a strike. What are my responsibilities to my writers, my cast, my crew, my network and my contract? How do I balance these various concerns?

At the Showrunners Meeting it became very clear to me that the only thing I can do as a showrunner is to do nothing. I obviously will not write on my shows. But I also will not edit, I will not cast, I will not look at location photos, I will not get on the phone with the network and studio, I will not prep directors, I will not review mixes. These are all acts that are about the writing of the show or protecting the writing of the show, and as such, I will not participate in them. I will also not ask any of my writer/producers to do any of these things for me, so that they get done, but I can save face.

I will not go into the office and I will not do any work at home. I will be on the picket line or I will be working with the Negotiating Committee. I will not have an avid sent to my house, or to a new office so that I can do work on my show and act as if it is all right because I'm not crossing any picket lines.

I truly believe that the best and fastest way to a good contract is to hit these companies early, to hit them hard and to deprive them of ALL the work we do on their behalf.
How do we ask our staff writers to go out on strike as we continue collecting producer checks? How do we ask the Teamsters to respect our picket lines if we won't ourselves or if we're sneaking around to do the work off-site?

Just so you all know what I am prepared to give up....

Tomorrow, we begin to film the Series Finale of The Shield. I think it's the best script our writing staff has ever written. This is the show that made me. This is the show that is my baby. If the strike goes on longer than two weeks, I won't be able to step on set for the final episode of the show. I won't have a writer on set, as I have had on every episode since the fourth episode. I won't be able to edit this final culminating episode. I won't go to the wrap party that Fox TV and FX are paying for. You can't tell me that any episode of television is more important than this one is to me, and I am ready to forego all those things in order to strengthen my union.
Tomorrow, we begin filming a new pilot, The Oaks, that I am Executive Producing. It's an amazing script that David Schulner wrote and I signed up to help him make this show. Until we have a fair deal I cannot do that now and it kills me.

We are currently filming Season 3 of The Unit, a show that does fairly well, but against House and Dancing With The Stars, usually finishes in 3rd place. We have no guarantee that we will back for a 4th season. I just gave a director friend of mine his first TV directing gig. I'd like to see him succeed. He'll have to finish the show on his own now without a writer on set, or my help in the editing room.

Some people have made the argument that if they don't do this producing work or this editing, that someone else will do it, and this act won't hurt the companies. I respectfully disagree. If we ALL stop ALL work tomorrow, the impact of this strike will be felt much more quickly, much more acutely and it most likely will end sooner, putting our writers, our cast and our crews back to work sooner!

I spent nearly 12 hours today in the Negotiation Room with the companies. I watched our side desperately try to make a deal. We gave up our request to increase revenue on DVD's, something that was very painful to give up, but something we felt we had to in order to get a deal made in new media, which is our future.

I watched as the company's representatives treated us horrendously, disrespectfully, and then walked out on us at 9:30 and then lied to the trades, claiming we had broken off negotiations.
I can't in good conscience fight these bastards with one hand, while operating an avid with the other. I am on strike and I am not working for them. PERIOD.

You will use your own instincts and consciences to decide your own actions. But if you would like to follow in my footsteps (and those of many, many others who made this pledge at the showrunner's meating on Saturday), I encourage you to sign the trade ad that the WGA will be putting out on Tuesday by the dozens and dozens of showrunners who will simply not work at all beginning in the morning."

TV News: Knight Rider Rides Again

Hasselhoff: "Are you staring at my belt buckle?"

Proof of the adage that no idea is too stupid to be done twice, NBC is looking to revive eighties David Hasselhoff cheesefest Knight Rider -- with that little dash of Transformers to make everything that much more derivative. NBC is tapping Go and Bourne Identity director Doug Liman to helm the TV movie with an eye to taking it to series. No word yet on whether "The Hoff" will cameo, whether the Jersey shore will be scoured for '82-'83 black Trans-Ams, or whether the folks at NBC have lost their freaking minds. Here's the juice from Variety's article on this:

"Success of "Transformers" had a role in inspiring NBC Entertainment chief Ben Silverman's decision to revive "Knight." The thinking is that smallscreen f/x have advanced to the point where it'd be feasible to have a weekly series in which cars shift shapes.
It's also likely the new show will explore the idea of "evil" cars to offset the heroic talking K.I.T.T. car of the original skein, which starred David Hasselhoff. That said, skein is expected to essentially remain focused on the story of a single man fighting for justice with the help of his superadvanced car."

Best case scenario:
Bruce Campbell gets the lead, the car is voiced by Jm J. Bullock, and the whole thing is played tongue-in-cheek.

Worst case scenario:
Zac Efron gets the lead, the show is "younged up", the car is voiced by Sinbad and is a Subaru WRX that can shape shift into a robot.

TV News: Networks Less Queer -- Cable More So

Fox New's Shepherd Smith -- Cross-dressing on weekends alert: elevated

GLAAD reports that broadcast television has fewer depictions of gays and lesbians on primetime, while cable continues to get more diverse. Of the depictions of gays and lesbians on broadcast, the vast majority appeared on ABC. Read AP's report here . See more of the very-not-gay-in-a-Larry-Craig-way Shepherd Smith below!

DVR Alert: SNL Announces Musical Guests

Spoon: Look in the 791. section...

Saturday Night Live has revealed the first batch of musical guests for this, their 93rd season. What, no Les Savvy Fav with Armisen behind the kit?

The fun starts September 29th with rhyme-challenged MC Kanye West, fresh from vanquishing 50 Cent.

Indie kids rejoice on October 6th when Spoon graces the stage at 30 Rock.

October 13th will see dave Grohl and his Foo Fighters tear it up joined by Jon Bon Jovi who will do it all -- host, play music, show up in sketches, and release a faux-country album.

TV: Putting the Boob Back in The Tube

Tila Tequila: Evidently "famous" as well as "real"

MTV and Disney continue the job of corrupting America's precious youth, the AP reports. Firstly MTV (remember when they actually had something to do with music?) will have a new "reality" dating show featuring MySpace "star" Tila Tequila. The twist, as it were, is that she will be choosing a partner from a group of men and women. Of course the shocking thing here is that someone is famous for their slutty MySpace profile.

Disney on the other hand, gets their sex second hand (ahem). Turns out wholesome High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens has a nekkid picture of herself floating around the series of connected tubes we call The Internets. Helpfully her publicist has confirmed that the picture is, in fact, genuine. Gentlemen (and Tila Tequila), start your search engines!

TV: To Catch To Catch a Predator?

Chris Hansen: "What kind of a man brings K-Y Jelly to a Church Social?"

The New York Daily News reports today that ABC News' 20/20 will be doing an expose of Dateline NBC's pedophile takedown circus To Catch a Predator tonight at 10PM. Here's a sample scene:

Young-ish looking pedophile-bait opens door to suburban house to creepy Mustachioed Man. She tells Mustache Man to have a seat while she goes to get some lemonade for them.

She disappears into the house as Dateline's Chris Hanson emerges with his trademark swagger. He stops in his tracks as he sees the Mustache Man..."John Stossel?? What are you doing here?" For the Mustache Man is in fact 20/20's John Stossel.

Stossel replies,"The question is, what are you doing here?"

Hansen blusters, "Well I'm catching a predator of course.." He consults his sheaf of papers. "Is your screen name 'kidlovr69'?"

Stossel says,"Yeah, is your screen name 'lollipopgirl13'?"

I know I'd be tuning in...if the picture tube on my TV hadn't blown out last night.

TV News: Law and Order Candidate Hopes to Climb from Arthur Branch to Executive Branch

(L-R) D.A. Arthur Branch and Architect's Guild member Mike Brady react to inevitable Geico Caveman presidential candidacy announcement

Be-Jowled Republican actor Fred Thompson will use Jay Leno's show to announce his candidacy according to Nikki Finke's always entertaining Deadline Hollywood Daily blog. Thompson has been cast repeatedly by liberal Hollywood as an authority figure in such films as Baby's Day Out, Aces: Iron Eagle III, and Curly Sue. If elected this would be his fourth try at the Presidency, having been President in the TV movie Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee (where he played U.S. Grant), Last Best Chance, and in Rachel and Andrew Jackson (as the voice of Andrew Jackson). He has also been an FBI agent, a rear admiral, and is best known for his role as the D.A. on TV's Law and Order. No word yet on whether Joe Don Baker's agents are sending him out for the same debates.