Movies: 2nd Annual Thanksgiving Turkeys Bad Film Fest

Welcome to our annual Thanksgiving turkey strangle - ten films that give bad a new name.Here are last year's Turkeys part one and part two. Every year we pick some of cinemas low flyers for special shame and ridicule. To the list!



1) The Wicker Man(remake)

The remake of a well regarded film is not an uncommon species of turkey, in fact this list sports several. However It must be said that the dropoff from the creepy Edward “The Equalizer” Woodward starring original to this Neil LaBute helmed crapfest is mighty steep. Aside from the nonsensical plot the main attraction for J.G. Ballard-esque car wreck fans is Nicholas Cage’s performance, a masterclass in frantic, pointless scenery chewing that reads like a bad Nic Cage impersonator “doing” Nic Cage. LaBute naturally focuses his attention on the evil women who run the mysterious island where cop Cage has gone to look for his ex-paramour’s missing child. Never has gynophobia seemed so downright silly.You'll root for the murderers.




2) Under the Rainbow

It’s hard to know what anyone involved in this awful film were thinking. Set in 1938 it involves 150 midgets in town to film the Wizard of Oz, Chevy Chase as a secret service agent, Carrie Fisher as the midget’s chaperon and a lot of convoluted plotting involving Nazis and fake European countries. Like A Fish Called Wanda, the cardinal Hollywood rule of avoiding dog deaths is overlooked. Unlike Wanda, it’s simply not funny here.




3) The Jerk, Too

Some of you might remember ABC’s short-lived Saturday Night Live knockoff Fridays, which in the early 80s introduced a small audience to Michael Richards and Larry David. One of the breakout stars was Mark Blankfield, whose over-the-top pharmacist character propelled him to this ill-considered remake of Steve Martin’s 1979 classic The Jerk, barely 5 years after the original.



4) Employee of the Month

My wife and I valiantly attempted to watch this excrescence on cable, just to see at what point one of us would cry chicken and call the whole thing off. What we didn’t bargain for is becoming literally mind-boggled by a seemingly interminable scene talking place high up in the stacks of the giant warehouse store where Dane Cook and his co-workers, well, work. The plot involves some meaningless bullcrap about Jessica Simpson and Cook – two “actors” notably devoid of charm here, and some desire by Cook to date Simpson who only dates employees of the month so Cook has to…snnnnnOOORRK!When my wife and I came to, we felt like Betty and Barney Hill - the couple who knew they were kidnapped by aliens because they had experienced chunks of missing time from their lives.



5) Stepford Wives (remake)

The original Stepford Wives was no great film, just a campy sub-Rosemary’s Baby vamp on The Feminine Mystique. Frank Oz’s ill-considered re-make is a mess, overstuffed, over-budgeted and over-plotted. Bad remake queen Nicole Kidman (of future turkey entries Invasion and Bewitched) does her accent from To Die For and generally fails to look like the kind of woman a man would want to upgrade with a robot/lobotomy or whatever it is they are supposed to be. Bette Midler does her loud earthy shtick and Christopher Walken does his creepy weird-line-delivery shtick. Oh yeah, and Matthew Broderick throws down his super nebbish routine. Did I mention that the movie doesn’t even know if the housewives are being lobotomized, or turned into robots, or what? The one surefire lobotomy victim is the viewer after watching this dreck.



6) The Nude Bomb

Before Steve Carrell was tapped to do a remake of the classic Mel Brooks and Buck Henry created spy spoof TV show Get Smart, the show itself was turned into a movie in 1980 – the aptly named Nude Bomb. Only Don Adams, the original and best Maxwell Smart, returns from the TV cast. Sylvia Kristol better known as soft-core star Emmanuelle is the love interest (!). Vittorio Gassman gets roped in, presumable to pay the electric bill. Deserves the cone of silence.



7) Moving Violations

Police Academy mastermind Neal Isreal transported his already Xeroxed transposition of Animal House antics to traffic school in this comedy tribute to nepotism. Lesser-known Murray sibling John Murray is not asked to imitate brother Brian Doyle in this film but other brother Bill, to slim returns. He’s up against Stacy Keach’s brother James Keach who is tofurky to Stacy’s Thanksgiving meal. These two sibs are balanced out by Jennifer Tilly, who had not yet eclipsed sister Meg. Also, Don Cheadle shows up ever so briefly. It’s entirely a movie by association, if you liked Police Academy, Ghostbusters, and Mike Hammer, you’ll hate Moving Violations.



8) Heartbeeps

Andy Kaufman and Bernadette Peters star as robot domestics who escape and fall in robot love. Vincent Canby’s original review notes that “The makeup worn by Mr. Kaufman and Miss Peters looks formidably uncomfortable.” So do the actors and everyone remotely associated with this mess.Walks the fine line between boring and subtly disturbing.



9) Memoirs of an Invisible Man

Two of the most inexpressive actors in cinema, Chevy Chase and Daryl Hannah team up in what sadly is an action adventure. Even Chase’s vocal inflections in the invisible scenes are blah and poor John Carpenter is reduced to wishing Kurt Russell had been available in this listless special effects extravaganza. Sam Neill’s mole has more range than the leads and Carpenter seems to try to get him on camera as much as possible to no avail. Note how the trailer attempts to sell the film as a comedy and then undercuts the whole thing with " A John Carpenter Film"...



10) Zardoz

Ladies love Sean Connery but one look at his over-exposed furry body in the weird bondage-gear outfit he’s forced to wear in this pretentious sci-fi bloatfest and they may rethink the lust factor. Or not. It’s like parachute straps, a diaper, the mustache from the leather guy in The Village People, and boots and hair from Crystal Gayle all combined. If you can get past the look (and I can’t frankly) the movie is incomprehensible at best. Sample dialogue? “The gun is good… The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!” Did I mention that this comes from a flying stone head?

Movies: Flashback - The Best Movies of 1988 Part One

Continuing my Flashback series we go back twenty years to 1988. It was an election year but a very different one with a Bush on the ticket, a dimbulb veep candidate (some things don't change) and a little guy named Dukakis. These were the best films of the year, in no particular order.

1. Married to The Mob
Before Jonathan Demme became a big Hollywood director with Silence of the Lambs but after he had graduated from Roger Corman schlock like Crazy Mama he made a string of distinctly quirky American comedies culminating in this offbeat treat. With the bright colors and quirky rhythms of new wave (he was the perfect director for the classic Talking Heads concert film Stop Making Sense) he brought a distinct New York "downtown" sensibility to what on paper could be pretty worn material. Michelle Pfeiffer is terrific as the wife of a rubbed out mobster - decked out in neon and chewing gum but with a spunky good heart. The mob boss, played by Dean Stockwell with thick eyebrows and an appraisers squint, wants to get into her spandex. Matthew Modine is the FBI agent who charms Pfeiffer without letting her know who he is. Finally Mercedes Ruehl nearly hijacks the film as the mob bosses jealous wife, crazy eyed and off-balance yet steely with moral outrage. It's as much about Pfeffier's independence against all of these mobbed-up men who try to control her.


2. A Fish Called Wanda

A transcontinental comedy that bridged humor on both continents Wanda is a rollicking culture clash of uptight Brits like John Cleese and stuttering Michael Palin and outrageously crass and libidinous Americans Jamie Lee Curtis and a never-better Kevin Kline as a pretentious moron with aspirations to intellect. It's all hung around a classic heist plot that manages to weave in the ultimate cinematic taboo - the killing of canines. Several times. Hilariously. Jamie Lee Curtis is phenomenal in one of the few roles that allows her to show her great range.


3. Beetlejuice
Tim Burton's cinematic vision was first widely seen in Pee-Wee's Big Adventure but the casual Surrealism and candy-coated darkness was hard to discern as being distinct from the Pee-Wee Herman universe. Beetlejuice was Burton's own baby, with even more goth-baiting gloom in the form of young Winona Ryder, a mind-bending and unique view of the afterlife, and a cast in tune with his wacked-out sensibilities. Catherine O'Hara could be from a contemporary Demme film as an art-world diva, Jeffrey Jones is great as her nebbishy husband and Michael Keaton was suitably borscht belt macabre as the titular character. Sadly Alec Baldwin is asked to play it straight with Geena Davis as the nice young dead couple who insist on haunting their dream house.


4. The Vanishing
Another view of death and the mystery of life entirely and a far bleaker one is George Sluizer's original version of The Vanishing , later re-made with diminished returns by the director in English. A man's girlfriend is kidnapped suddenly and he becomes obsessed with learning her fate. His obsession becomes a subject of fascination for her kidnapper, who offers to supply the insight the boyfriend is so desperate to acquire.


5. The Thin Blue Line
From the imagined crime of the Vanishing we move to the real life crimes surrounding Errol Morris documentary The Thin Blue Line. This was the first documentary I ever saw in the theater, my father taking me to see it in Lincoln Square Cinemas after a rave in The New Yorker. It remains as one of the best documentary films ever made with chillingly clever recreations, Philip Glass's hypnotic score, and the words of those involved unfolding a story of justice denied by Texas legal system and the possibility that an innocent man would be executed.

Music: Flashback - 1968 - The Year in Singles Part Three

Compiled by Noah Mallin

Wrapping up our trip to 40 years ago, 1968 was a great year for singles. This was true of almost any year in the 60s, even though the album format was starting to become more dominant in rock. There was still a whole mess of soul, country, and other genres best heard on singles, and many rock bands like the Stones and The Beatles were still releasing key songs only as singles:

Here's 21 through 30, in no particular order:

21) James Brown – "Say it Loud, I’m Black and I’m Proud"
It's hard to overstate the importance of James Brown groundbreaking anthem to black pride. 1968 was a tough year with widespread rioting in black communities, particularly in the wake of the murder of Dr. King. Before 1968 the word "negro" was often used to describe African Americans but afterwards it became tainted, relegated to the dustbin by Brown and others.


22) Moody Blues – "Ride my See-Saw"
Plenty of bands still had more psychedelia left in them and the Moodys had morphed from a soulful British Invasion -era beat combo to one of the most commercial purveyors of slightly pretentious psilocybin silliness. They also knew how to write a killer single. By the early part of the 70s progressive rock would change the parameters and force ever more flashy musicianship and song structures on what was once psych-rock. The Moodys however stuck to their poppy guns and kept having hits.


23) Archie Bell and the Drells – "Tighten Up"
"We can dance just as good as we walk" Archie Bell was probably not dancing much as the infectious "Tighten Up" climbed the charts and he found himself on his way to Vietnam, a victim of the draft.The Quintessential let every member have a chance song, a damn good recipe if you ask me. So good Roxy Music used it at the end of "Re-Make/Re-Model"...


24) Beatles – "Hey Jude"
Paul wrote this to cheer up John's son Julian (of "Much Too Late for Goodbye's" semi-fame)who was depressed over his parent's split-up. When John heard it he thought it was a song giving the thumbs up to his budding relationship with Yoko. Paul himself was thinking more of Linda as he fleshed the lyrics out. Either way, one of the Beatles best and the longest number one single in Billboard chart history. Anyone who doesn't have the urge to go "Judee Judee JUdee Arrrrrghhhh..." during the coda has icewater for blood.


25) Desmond Dekker – "Isrealites"
Dekker was one of reggae's biggest stars and this was his first massive hit, splicing Rastafarian bible interpretation to everyday struggles to get by, all to a loping jaunty groove. "I don't want to end up like Bonnie and Clyde..." he laments, trying to feed his family in a nation that oppressed his religious beliefs.


26) Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrel – "You’re All I Need to Get By"
Many thought that Tammi and Marvin were an item and hearing them harmonize on songs like this classic its easy to see why. The classic vocal hook is underpinned by lithe bass and quivering strings all climaxing together in a great big chorus. Whew, I need a towel.


27) Wilson Pickett – "I’m a Midnight Mover"
"Wicked" Wilson Pickett was a pioneer of what would become funk. Always deep in the pocket, exhorting the band with his gravelly voice and spacious bouncing arrangements he rivaled James Brown for sheer killer charismatic groove, if not innovation. This is one of his best.


28) Donovan – "Hurdy Gurdy Man"
Like the Beatles Donovan went to the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi's retreat and came back with a clutch of songs. At this point the new Dylan tag was long past but Donovan was still capable of writing great pop including this off-kilter trippy dirge full of fuzzed out guitars and rolling drums.


29)The Who – "Magic Bus"
1968 found the Who touring and prepping their 1969 opus Tommy. "Magic Bus" was a great percussion driven placeholder, and one of their biggest American hits.


30)Rufus Thomas – "The Memphis Train"
Rufus Thomas' recording career stretched from the mid-50s until his death in the 90s. In between he was one of Memphis most beloved DJs and the father of Stax star Carla Thomas. "The Memphis Train" is one of his best, a bumptious rollicking good time.

Music: Flashback - 1968 - The Year in Singles Part Two

Compiled by Noah Mallin

Wrapping up our trip to 40 years ago, 1968 was a great year for singles. This was true of almost any year in the 60s, even though the album format was starting to become more dominant in rock. There was still a whole mess of soul, country, and other genres best heard on singles, and many rock bands like the Stones and The Beatles were still releasing key songs only as singles:

Here's 11 through 20, in no particular order:

11) Simon and Garfunkel – "At The Zoo"
"Someone told me it's all happening at the zoo, I do believe them, I do believe it's true..." I have no freaking clue what they're going on about in this song other than checking out the Central Park Zoo but it ain't no thang. When that portentous sizzling sound leads into the barrelhouse piano and they get into the rave-up it's just all the stuff I like in a Simon and Garfunkel song (and I don't like em all.)Even if it's not a patch on The Kinks' "Animal Farm".

12)Tyrone Davis – "Can I Change my Mind"
Tyrone Davis is all, "Whoa, baby, OK I was a total asshole" but it's so too late. Damn baby, can I change my mind? The player plays himself. Did I mention the killer riff and horn chart?

13) Procol Harum – "Homburg"
Procol Harum is mostly remembered for their 1967 classic "A Whiter Shade of Pale" but there was plenty more where that came from. "Homburg" is one of their best, a stately Dylanesque lament that finds insult in inept haberdashery. Oh yeah, and killer piano line.

14) Tommy James and the Shondells – "Crimson and Clover"
Tommy James knew his way around a pop song and the shivery "Crimson and Clover" is no exception. An unusual combo of swagger and longing, Joan Jett would unlock the sapphic raunch embedded in the James original when she covered it in the 80s. James' original actually prefigures some of the sound of glamsters like T. Rex and Bowie but their poppiness meant that most rock critics looked down on them until relatively recently. It didn't help that Hubert Humphrey wrote the liner notes to one of their albums.


15) Aretha Franklin – "The House that Jack Built"
Aretha had a lot of great songs during 1968 but this is my favorite, mostly because it rocks like nobody's business. The backing vocals nag, the drums thwack and the horns saunter while Aretha cuts Jack down to size.


16) Creedence Clearwater Revival – "I Put a Spell on You"
You gotta have pretty big balls to cover a Screamin' Jay Hawkins song but CCR pull it off ably with this track. This is before John Fogerty would find his feet as a songwriting genius cranking out track after classic track throughout 1969, but this is where the band's skill and chops at song arrangement come to the fore.

17) Delfonics – "La-La Means I Love You"
What'd you think it meant? The Delfonics took soul into a buttery smooth zone that would begin to dominate in the 70s under Philadelphia producer Thom Bell. There's at least one foot in the doo-wop of the past but the light approach sweetened with strings set the scene for a whole new sound.


18) Tammy Wynette – "D-I-V-O-R-C-E"
Like Aretha, Tammy's simply had enough of her no good man. Divorce was a growing national phenomenon but it wasn't much talked about. Her comes Tammy, spellin' it out so the brat don't know. Once again soul and country were tackling social realities that rock, for all it's supposed frankness, avoided.


19) Steppenwolf – "The Pusher"
One thing rockers did know about was drugs. Here Steppenwolf helpfully educated about the difference between some dude who sells grass (good) and the pusher (bad).Damned if I can tell 'em apart, 'cept "The Pusher don't care if you live or if you die.." Ok. helpful hint everyone.

20) The Temptations – "Cloud Nine"
The Tempts get all proto-funky on "Cloud Nine," and like the Supremes they were all about Motown's nascent social conscience. Poking a hole in all those folks who try to live on "cloud nine" while Detroit was falling apart the song struck a definite nerve. It helps that the arrangement is spring-tight with every piece of the Motown machinery locked into a great groove.

Music: Flashback - 1968 -- The Year in Singles Part One

Compiled by Noah Mallin

Wrapping up our trip to 40 years ago, 1968 was a great year for singles. This was true of almost any year in the 60s, even though the album format was starting to become more dominant in rock. There was still a whole mess of soul, country, and other genres best heard on singles, and many rock bands like the Stones and The Beatles were still releasing key songs only as singles:

Here's 1 through 10, in no particular order:


1) Loretta Lynn – "Fist City"
Coal miner's daughter Loretta Lynn was one of country's biggest stars in the 60s, telling it like Her feisty persona is summed by "Fist City" in which she promises the town harlot a one way ticket to the titular town.

2)Marvin Gaye – "I Heard it Through the Grapevine"
One of the great songs in pop history and a song that signified all kinds of things to different listeners. On the face of it a heartbreaking song about discovering infidelity from gossip, the pounding drums and pulsing beat suggested a suffusing dread that seemed to find it's counterpart in the assassinations of Martin Luther King and Senator Bobby Kennedy and the mounting civil unrest of 1968.

3)The Nazz – "Open My Eyes"
Before Todd Rundgren became a solo star in the 70s he was part of garage rockers The Nazz, caught here ripping off the opening riff of The Who's "Can't Explain" red-handed. It hardly matters as they burst into the phased chorus and a glorious bridge that pointed the way to Rundgren's solo work.

4) Sly and The Family Stone – "Everyday People"
Producer Sly Stone was fast becoming hit songwriter Sly Stone as 1967 rolled into 1968. His optimism would begin to curdle into paranoia and dread but "Everyday People" found he and the interracial Family Stone laying out a vision of everyone getting along and doing their thing.


5) Otis Redding – "(Sittin’ On) The Dock of The Bay"
By 1968 Otis Redding had become the biggest star on the gritty Memphis label Stax, the antithesis of Detroit polished Motown. Redding's phenomenal voice and delivery and solid songwriting chops ("Respect" was one of his) had taken him right to the brink when an appearance at the Monterey Pop festival in 1967 found him blowing everyone else off the stage. Redding and begun to work in a subtle new direction, melding his raw R & B style to contemplative folk when he died in a plane crash in December of that year at age 26. "Dock of the Bay" was the first and only song reflecting this new direction and suggests the colossus that Redding may have been had he lived. Released posthumously, it stands it's simply one of the greatest pieces of music by anyone, anywhere, at any time.

6)Rolling Stones – "Jumpin’ Jack Flash"
The Stones were eager to soften audiences up for their return to rawness and discard the psychedelic trappings that had cluttered up their previous few releases (though lovely b-side "Child of The Moon" felt much like the rest of that era.) "Jumpin' Jack Flash was a wake-up call, all lean riff from Keith, pumping bass line from Wyman and Jagger's sneering vocals. One of the Stones all time best.


7) Big Brother and The Holding Company – "Piece of My Heart"
The cult of Janis always bothered me a bit as she didn't really bring much new to the table that hadn't already been done by other female singers who just happened to be black (Erma Franklin, the original singer of this song and Aretha's older sister among them.) Yet her voice is undeniable and Big Brother's supercharged arrangement finds quite a bit of Stax in the song.

8) Diana Ross and The Supremes – "Love Child"
The received wisdom is that pop music didn't tackle "serious" subjects until Bob Dylan and The Beatles came along to explore weighty issues -- which of course is utter bullcrap. This isn't to say that "Love Child" is "Blowin' in the Wind" but Diana's pain at having a Daddy who abandoned her and not wanting to make the same mistake spoke directly to plenty of kids.

9) The Maytals – "54-46 (That’s My Number)"
Though still obscure outside the newly independent island nation, Jamaica's music scene had exploded into a creative riot of sound. The Maytals were exponents of ska, which took the beat from American soul and shuffled it up. Later this would all be slowed down into reggae. These guys weren't talking about phone numbers either - 54-46 was Toots Hibbert's prison number.

10) Eddie Floyd – "Big Bird"
"Big Bird" is a stomping hot soul number with a killer guitar lick from Stax sessioner Steve Cropper. It's a prime example of the rawness of the Stax sound in contrast to Motown's expansiveness. There's also a poignancy in his exhortation to the plane to "get on up" beyond the phallic as label-mate Redding's death was still fresh in people's minds.

Music: Flashback -- The Best Albums of 1968 Continued - Part 2 of 2

By Noah Mallin

Here's the last installment of our survey featuring 1968's best albums.


11) The Kinks – Village Green Preservation Society
The Kinks were one of The Beatles most serious rivals in 1964, with singer Ray Davies capable of writing more and better songs than the Stones still nascent Jagger-Richards combo. By 1968 a dispute with the musicians union in the United States was preventing them from touring and a whole spate of other bands and sounds had eclipsed Ray Davies' still formidable writing prowess and his brother Dave's guitar skills. Village Green was The Kinks turning their backs on the United States and centering their songs on particularly British subjects emerging with a record that was a commercial flop but has become the most beloved in their venerable catalog.



12) Sly and The Family Stone – Life
Life was Sly and The Family Stone's third album, and their second of 1968. Where their first two albums had a great deal of filler this one showed the depth of Sly Stone's vision while it's optimism was as yet undimmed. The lack of big hits actually contributes to the unified feel of the record. The punchy drums and fuzztoned guitars point the way to funk while still retaining the immediacy of great pop.




13) Family - Music in a Doll's House
Family were a sadly underrated band who made several solid albums in the late 60s and early 70s including this, their debut. Their blues based background was typical of the British scene that spawned Fleetwood Mac, The Yardbirds, and others, as was their fondness for blending it with jazz and folk flourishes. What set them apart was the sharpness of their playing and arranging and their intricate band composed songs. It doesn't hurt that Traffic's Dave Mason and Stones producer Jimmy Miller were on hand to deliver an atmospheric and rich sound. At times they rock as hard as Led Zeppelin would barely a year later.



14) The Doors – Waiting For The Sun
This is not the Doors' best album but even a middling effort from them was pretty damn cool. "Hello I Love You" is sleazy stuff delivered with a knowing leer, "The Unknown Soldier" is as harsh an indictment of Vietnam as the band would deliver, that is until you get to "Five to One", the records hard rocking highlight. Some of the ballads undoubtedly bring out the worst in Morrison's pretentious writing and delivery but fail to sink the album.



15) Velvet Underground – White Light/ White Heat
Lou Reed and John Cale jettisoned Nico and her sponsor/band Svengali Andy Warhol by the time their second album White Light/White Heat came out. Even more polarizing than the first album it goes from mellow drones like "Here She Comes Now" to the skronk of "I Heard Her Call my Name" to the head ripping fierceness of the 17 minutes plus "Sister Ray." This is not to mention Cale's two showcases, the hilariously twisted shaggy-dog story of "The Gift" and the mesmerizing "Lady Godiva's Operation." This album laid down a gauntlet that the Stooges and Modern Lovers would later pass down to the first punk rockers. It would also be Cale's last studio album with the band.



16) Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention – We’re Only In It For The Money
Like the Velvets, Frank Zappa found the whole peace and love hippy vibe of 1967 to be totally alien and even repugnant. We're Only in it For The Money was his dystopian masterpiece, swinging a bat at the head of the counterculture and the establishment. Even better was his re-purposing of 50s and 60s doo-wop and R & B to underpin songs like "What's the Ugliest Part of Your Body?" (your brain, natch.)



17) Cream – Wheels of Fire
Cream were a far from perfect band and the overlong 2 LP set Wheels of Fire is a far from perfect album. The high points do represent some of the band's best work including "White Room" and "As You Said." The live stuff on the second record is often over indulgent but "Crossroads" shows off guitarist Eric Clapton's legendary playing to great effect.



18) Gilberto Gil – Gilberto Gil
Gil was one of the leading lights of the "tropicalia" movement that was taking Brazil by storm in 1968. This, his second album was a strong driving work with a particular rock bent. The sound of the record sometimes feels akin to coming across a band like The Animals playing carnival music. In fact Brazil's military junta felt that his openness to new sounds was such a threat that he and Caetono Veloso (see Part One) were both jailed at the end of the decade. Gil would flee to the UK in the early 70s before returning.



19) Byrds – Sweetheart of the Rodeo
Controversial both at the time of its release and today, Sweetheart of The Rodeo found Gram Parson's joining the Byrds and taking over the direction of the band. The sound not surprisingly veered to traditional country, seen as a bastion of the establishment in 1968 music circles. In addition Parsons was a wealthy high-living trust-fund kid which still leads to charges of cultural slumming for daring to tackle the Louvin Brothers "The Christian Life" and Merle Haggard's "Life in Prison". Bushwah says I. Sweethearts is a landmark of country rock and Parsons comes to the music with love and appreciation.In addition the countryfied cover of soul classic "You Don't Miss Your Water" is flat out genius.


20) Johnny Cash – At Folsom Prison
Unlike the Byrds, no-one ever questioned Johnny Cash's legitimacy or right to sing songs of prison life. Cash feeds off the energy of his literally captive audience and they feed of the dark despair at the heart of so many of his best songs. An indelibly great performance.

Music: Flashback - The Best Albums of 1968 Part One of Two

By Noah Mallin

Continuing on our trip 40 years back into the tumultuous past, here is part one of the best albums of 1968 in no order whatsoever.

1) Aretha Franklin - Lady Soul
Most soul albums at this time were collections of big hit singles with lesser tracks sprinkled in as filler. A few performers were so good that even their minor tracks made for a great album experience and Aretha was one of them. 1967 was the year she burst onto the scene on Atlantic records after an unhappy stint at Columbia. Lady Soul includes a few of that previous year's hits like the impassioned "Chain of Fools." It also includes the groundbreaking "(You Make Me Feel Like) a Natural Woman" a song described by critic Dave Marsh as an ode to the female orgasm. Even her cover of The Rascal's "Groovin" finds her in peak form with a suitably clever re-arrangement that brings out the soulfulness in the song.


2) Rolling Stones - Beggar's Banquet
The Rolling Stones made the first flop of their carrier with 1967's Sgt. Pepper's aping LP Their Satanic Majesties Request. They also found themselves at odds with founding member Brian Jones who seemed to still think himself as the band's leader despite Jagger and Richards writing the vast bulk of their original material. Beggar's Banquet was repped as their return to roots, a popular notion in 1968 (rivals The Beatles would begin recording their own back to basics album by the end of the year, the aborted Get Back which would see the light of day in 1970 as Let it Be.) It's hard to describe this as a return to the blues of their early albums because the band had utterly transcended imitation to discover their own gritty supercharged sound. Beggar's would be the first of four classic albums that represent the peak of the band's achievements. Beggar's features almost no playing by Jones, with the guitars overdubbed brilliantly by Keith Richards. The highlight of the album is arguably "Sympathy For The Devil" but "Street Fighting Man", "No Expectations" and "Jigsaw Puzzle" are just a few of the major tracks here.




3) Dr. John - Gris-Gris
Dr. John was just one of the many incredible performers who learned their trade in the music clubs of New Orleans. Starting in the late 50s he plied his barrelhouse piano skills from clubs to bars across the city. For his first album Gris-Gris he had already dubbed himself "The Night Tripper" and fused elements of psychedelia, traditional New Orleans R & B , voodoo nuttiness, and whatever else popped into his head. After 40 years as a recording artist this is still the most compelling and far-out record in his catalog with the 7-minute plus "I walk on Guilded Splinters" a particular treat.



4) Caetano Veloso – Tropicalia

The entire Brazilian music scene was in a major creative upheaval in 1968 and Veloso was at the forefront of the new sounds. Intending Tropicalia to be Brazil's answer to The Beatles Sgt. Pepper album Veloso and his collaborators jammed in pop, rock and psychedelic production flourishes to create a whole new genre that would come to be named after the song "Tropicalia." Technically the album was one of several untitled LP's Veloso would release but it is usually referenced by the name Tropicalia.

5) Van Morrison – Astral Weeks
Van Morrison cut the cord from his garage band Them with his first record for Warner Bros, Astral Weeks. The lush, long songs take folk into jazz and classical directions, expertly arranged and played. In many ways the current "freak folk" of Devendra Banhart and Sufjan Stevens can find it's roots in the expositional meanderings of Astral Weeks.


6) The Band – Music From Big Pink
The blandly named The Band earned their chops as The Hawks playing backup for rocker Ronnie Hawkins in the early 60s. When Bob Dylan wiped out in a motorcycle accident he joined them in their house in Woodstock New York, Big Pink, and laid down reels of music that later found release legit and otherwise as The Basement Tapes. Their first album as a unit defined the back to basics aesthetic that inspired many musicians in 1968, the timeless melodies and straightforward approach of songs like "The Weight" and "In a Station" suggesting tunes going back a century or more. This was heightened by the Levon Helms and Rick Danko's timeworn voices and the inventively simple instrumentation.


7) The Outsiders - CQ
The Dutch are well-known for all kinds of hedonism but rocking out (Golden Earring notwithstanding) is not one of them. The Outsiders are one of the great unsung bands of the 60s, a garage band that found their own way to integrate psychedelia and even pensive folk elements into their albums without losing site of great hooks and crunchy guitars. CQ was sadly their last album and also their best.


8) The Jimi Hendrix Experience – Electric Ladyland
Hendrix had exploded onto London's music scene in 1967 with a series of mindbending live shows and two stellar albums. By 1968 he was a superstar and looked to push his bandmates to their limits and beyond for what would prove to be their last album together, the double LP Electric Ladyland. The record is famed for the "underwater" sound Hendrix pushed for, with radical studio tricks matching his wildly fierce guitar playing. His cover of Dylan's "All Along The Watchtower" was so revelatory that Dylan himself essentially covers Hendix's version when he plays it live.


9) The Beatles – The Beatles
Like the Stones, the Beatles had also received their first setback in 1967.After the huge success of Sgt. Pepper's they conceived the television film Magical Mystery Tour, released at the end of the year to a critical savaging. An ill-fated retreat with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi did have a salutary effect on the band's songwriting with each member coming back with a clutch of songs (even Ringo had two!). The Beatles a double LP popularly known as The White Album after the stark white sleeve, showed the unwillingness to whittle down what each songwriter had. In fact the band had become backing musicians to whoever's song was being recorded on a particular day. This led to their most varied and for some most fascinating record yet. A young Jann Wenner described it as encompassing the whole of popular music up to that time and with heavy proto metal like "Helter Skelter" jostling with the gorgeous psych-folk of "Dear Prudence", the Beach Boys pastiche of "Back in The U.S.S.R." and the 30s style "Honey Pie" the band's reach seemed limitless.




10) Silver Apples – Silver Apples
Every electronic music artist from Kraftwerk through Suicide on down to Daft Punk and Aphex Twin owe a huge debt to this pioneering new York duo who first fused pop music sensibilities with the electronic experimentalism of the musical avant-garde. Though far from popular the droning shifting oscillations and pulsing beats of their debut album held enormous influence and still sounds contemporary and riveting today.

Culture: The Moustache -- Nine 'Staches That Ruled

This was a good year for the facial hair accessory known as the moustache, at least in pop culture terms. Josh Brolin sported a nice model in No Country For Old Men and Daniel Day Lewis had a beautiful lip blanket in There Will Be Blood. Here, presented for your approval, are some of the finest moustaches in pop culture:



1) Tom Selleck
Selleck's lip always looks oddly exposed without this world-class brushlike jobby. This mustache took him from underwear ads to Magnum P.I.


2) Burt Reynolds
I know there is a lot of hair to sort through in this illustration but let's focus on the patch between his upper lip and nose. That's the patch that made him a star.


3) Pat Harrington
Harrington was America's vaguely creepy boundaryless handyman on TV's One Day at a Time . His moustache conveyed the seedyness that led him to constantly use his passkey to enter the Romano's apartment.



4) Rip Taylor
Confetti!


5) Salvador Dali
Dali's natty gravity-defying number announced to the world that a surrealist was no doubt attached to it by the roots.


6) Sam Elliot
This neo-cockduster is almost always employed to western effect by Elliot making him the first choice to play a cowboy, a guy from the west, or a guy from the west who is a cowboy.


7) Frida Kahlo
Attention is usually focused on the artist's famous unibrow but her fine dark dusting of hair on her upper lip ought not to be dismissed.




8) William Powell
This moustache reeks of aristocratic cool -- and cigarette smoke.


9) Evil Twins
Duh! Crumbcatcher is optional...

Music: The Myth of The Sophmore Slump

The new issue of beardie-loving music mag Magnet has a column by Corey DuBrowa on the sophmore slump -- second albums that fail to live up to the promise of the first. This is a fairly common trope in rock criticism and has some basis in truth. One theory holds that most artists spend years stockpiling their "good stuff" for album one and then have a much shorter time period to whip up number two.

As I perused the list of albums Magnet came up with I was struck by how many of them I liked, Give 'Em Enough Rope by The Clash, Pretenders II, Room on Fire by The Strokes. With that in mind I thought I'd lay down a list of great second albums, which includes one from Magnet's list of stinkers because uh, they don't know what they're talkin' bout.

1) Bob Dylan - The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan (1963)
Dylan's debut album announced the arrival of a new star on the folk scene but it was 1963's Freewheelin' that catapoulted him into the ranks of pop genius. "Blowin' in The Wind" alone cemented his songwriter status but add to that "Don't Think Twice, it's Alright" "A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall" and "Girl From The North Country" and you get a classic album and a touchstone for where one of the greatest American artists in any field would go for the rest of his career.
Here's Bobby doing "A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall":


2) Weezer - Pinkerton (1996)
Weezer's self-titled first album was a phenomenon in 1994, selling several million copies and spawning quirky power pop angst hits with "Undone (The Sweater Song)", "Buddy Holly" and "Say it Ain't So". Their second album landed with a thud, shunned by radio, MTV and casual music buyers. Pinkerton was a more obviously dark and aggressive record, dealing with frontman / headcase Rivers Cuomo's wierd fan and groupie relationships, self-loathing, a leg operation and oh yeah, The Mikado. Weezer went on an extended hiatus in the wake of the album's failure but during that time it picked up a devoted cult and is now a favorite among the hardcore Weezerati who welcomed the band back to hitdom in the early 00s.


3) R.E.M. - Reckoning (1984)
R.E.M.'s debut album Murmur hit the nascent alterna-rock scene like a bomb. It was an hermetic, quirky, tuneful yet weird album unlike anything that came before. R.E.M. would have a hard time following it up but as it turns out, they'd never make another record that sounded like it again. If Murmur sounded like the experimental album of a seasoned band, Reckoning was more akin to a typical debut. Accessable and rocking, it's a strong set of songs stripped down to their base elements and helped cement R.E.M. as part of the revival of American "roots" sounds while still keeping their alternative audience intcat and growing: Check out Stipe's hair in the video for "So. Central Rain":


4) Beastie Boys - Paul's Boutique (1989)
The Beastie Boy's debut was the biggest selling rap-album ever by the time they got around to prepping the follow-up and the knives were out. There was bad blood because they were white, seen as a novelty act, tagged as misogynist, and behaved in a generally frat boy way on tour. Sure enough Paul's Boutique struggled to sell upon it's release, yet began to gain status from music lovers for it's innovatively groundbreaking and creative use of samples and song structure thanks to producers The Dust Brothers and clever funny and sometimes cerebral rhymes from The Beasties. As with Weezer, what appeared to be a setback at first set the stage for a surprise comeback third album that cemented the band's star status. Here' s the video for "Shake Your Rump":


5) Blondie - Plastic Letters (1977)
Blondie wasn't coming off of a hit when they did Plastic Letters, one of the most underrated albums of 1977. Though their debut had garnered some attention in the UK, they were still considered an also-ran to the other more "serious" bands on the New York scene -- Television, Talking Heads, The Ramones. Plastic Letters had a slar trajectory, doing even better than the debut in Europe but still failing to find favor in their home country. As a record though the band had moved beyond the girl-group aping of the first album and stretched out into evocations of Stax soul on "Rifle Range" (a dead ringer for "In The Twilight Zone" by The Astors) , mid 60's Stonesy cool in "Youth Nabbed as Sniper" and baroque pop-prog with "No Imagination." Here they are doing "Detroit 442":


6) Tribe Called Quest - The Low End Theory (1991)
Tribe hit the scene in 1990 as part of a wave of positive rap that included De La Soul, Brand Nubian and The Jungle Brothers. As good as their debut was it was The Low End Theory that commenced to mind-blowing, both lyrically and musically. Rappers Q-Tip and Phife Dog effortlessly trade quips and wisdom over exquisiyely tense, stripped down jazz beats. The album is aptly named as the bass lines on songs like "Buggin' Out" seem to exist on another plane entirely, big and goopy and full of portent. Though the sound is spare, it's also detailed, with every song building and moving on an insistent bed of rhythm. Here's the very future looking vid for "Scenario" featuring a pre-stardom Busta Rhymes:


7) The Velvet Underground - White Light/ White Heat (1967)
The Velvets brilliant first album was compromised by their Andy Warhol arranged shotgun marraige with German chanteuse Nico. Compromise is not the word that comes to mind with album number 2 which comes out of the gate blazing and never looks back. There is the occaisional foray into brain scrambling as on the John Cale narrated macabre joke of "The Gift" and the guitar shards of "I Heard Her Call My Name." "Sister Ray" closed out the album, 17 minutes plus of squalling feedback drenched madness that pushed the Stooges, punk rock, and Yo La Tengo out of its womb before expiring in a pool of blood. Or something that sounds like that. Here's "White Light / White Heat "

Film: Great Celluloid Presidents

Here in the United States it is President's Day, which celebrates the merging of two President's birthdays into one day that is neither of their actual birthdays but which meets the goal of maximum productivity by minimizing excess holidays and placing them, whenever possible, on a Monday.

With that kind of patriotic ferver in mind I present a sampling of cinematic Presidents, with a real one mixed in just to keep us on our toes. Can you spot the real President? Good luck!

1) Henry Fonda as Abe Lincoln in Young Mr. Lincoln

One of Director John Ford's greatest films, and one of lead actor Henry Fonda's best performances. We are introduced to Lincoln in his pre-Presidential years (an origin story as the studio heads might say). Rather than stoic be-bearded stuffiness we get lanky, canny Matlock-y sharp country lawyer and yes, tragic lover. Here's a great scene in which he visits the grave of his early love.


2) Dan Hedaya as Richard Nixon in Dick

I'll take Hedaya over Anthony Hopkin's Nixon in a Tricky Dick-off anyday. In a lot less time than Oliver Stone devoted to one of our worst Presidents in his bloated opus Nixon, Hedaya captures the man's self-loathing and deep insecurity, not to mention his paranoia and vindictiveness. And it's a comedy!

3) Jimmy Carter as Jimmy Carter in Used Cars

Ah, the malaise years. The Carter presidency was marked by crises: gas, inflation, hostage, confidence. That deep well of cynicism was tapped by Robert Zemeckis' farce Used Cars. In the scene below, the guys at one used car lot mess with the owners of the other by hacking into a televised Presidential address with an ad set at their rival's lot. Part of what makes this hilarious is the use of a real speech by Carter to frame the ad.


4) John Travolta as Governer Jack Stanton in Primary Colors

For most of Mike Nichols' Primary Colors Jack Stanton is a governor running for his party's primary nomination. However the last scene in the film shows he and his first lady (a fantastic Emma Thompson as Hillary to his Bill) dancing at the inaguaral ball so this counts. Playing a character as flawed as the film he's in, you can't help loving him even as you flinch from some of his excesses and wonder where ambition meets expedience meets compassion. Yes, it's Bill Clinton in a nutshell:


5) Peter Sellers as President Merkin Muffley in Dr. Strangelove

Dr. Strangelove is one of the greatest cinematic satires ever and its President, played to perfection by Peter Sellers, is key to what makes Stanley Kubrick's cold war masterpiece work. President Muffley is a stickler for protocol and finding a reasonable solution to any problem. Clearly modeled after 50s Democratic nominee Adlai Stevenson, Muffley's measured approach to the insanity around him begins to seem somewhat insane itself. The "straight" version of this same scenario came out later the same year as Fail-Safe and just compare Henry Fonda's compassionate performance as the President to what Sellar's does with essentially the same material. Here's an outstanding scene in which President Muffley calls the Russian Premier to explain the hideous mistake that is unfolding:

Film: According To My Wife -- Valentine's Day Edition

My beautiful and charming wife has a soft spot for films of a romantic nature. Fittingly in honor of Valentine's Day she has come up with her 10 favorite romantic films. So curl up with a loved one and max out your Netflix account with these fine choices:


1) Moulin Rouge
Baz Luhrmann's eye-popping ear-bending musical extravaganza is a big candy-coated paen to love and integrity. Our lovers are played by saucy Nicole Kidman and winsome Ewan MacGregor. What is love but a melding and mash-up of two worlds? So the film splices bolly- and Hollywood, The Police with tango, 1880's Paris with punk rock. A post-modern musical with it's heart on it's sleeve.


2) Brokeback Mountain
The "love that dares not speak it's name" prefers to shuffle it's feet and mumble stoically in Ang Lee's cowboys in love drama. This time the lovers are played by a never-better Heath Ledger, tamping down his true feelings into a monotonal hunch and by a daring fun-loving Jake Gyllenhaal. Society tells them "No" but they just can't quit each other.


3) When Harry Met Sally
The film that launched the rom-com craze of the 90s (which continues today) and also established Meg Ryan's reign as the woman most likely to be matched with a guy du jour in a romantic comedy. It's a bonifide classic, asking the eternal question, "Can men and women just be friends?" There's also great support from the late Bruno Kirby and Carrie Fisher.


4) The Price of Milk
This offbeat film from New Zealand has it all : cows, an agoraphobic dog, Maoris. The surrealism captures the fantastical (and sometimes tricky) world that lovers create together. Not to be confused with the Ed Harris / Melanie Griffith let's-chip-in-and-buy-Dad-a-hooker flick Milk Money this independent gem stars Karl Urban, soon to appear as Dr. McCoy in JJ Abrams' update of Star Trek.


5) The Princess Bride
The search for and devotion to "true love" forms the backbone of this comic adventure. Rob Reiner's surehanded adaptation of screenwriter William Goldman's (also wonderful) novel features Cary Elwes and Robin Wright (now Robin Wright Penn) as the gorgeous young lovers torn asunder by a scheming Prince Humperdinck.


6) Serendipity
The random nature of love comes to the fore in Serendipity, starring chick-bait John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale, along with Molly Shannon and former Cusack sidekick Jeremy Piven. Cusack and Beckinsale test the meaning of fate, which ultimately has it's way with the two would-be lovers.


7) Holiday
Delightful Cary Grant / Kate Hepburn vehicle (not to be confused with the Jack Black / Love Mecha / Kate Winslet / Cameron Diaz rom-com The Holiday). Grant is set to marry Hepburn's materialistic sister until he realizes that goofy free-thinker Hepburn is the one he loves all along. Splendid dialogue, great cartwheels.


8) Love Story
This five hanky pic was a surprise hit upon it's release. Ali McGraw plays spunky dirty-mouthed Jenny to Ryan O'Neill's rich kid Oliver. He gives up his family wealth to be with her but alas, fate intervenes. Directly responsible for my wife's birth.


9) Frankie and Johnny
Underrated film adaptation of Terrence McNally's play Frankie and Johnny in the Claire De Lune. Critics carped at the casting but what's to complain about when you have a charming Al Pacino dialing down his late-period overacting and sharp Michelle Pfeiffer getting gritty as our two struggling lovers.


10) Two Days in Paris
Here's my original review of this gem. A frequently hilarious look at how cultural differences can test the course of love, directed and written by the wonderful Julie Delpy and starring she and Adam Goldberg.