Music: New Release Tuesday -- What to Expect

Spears: "Guys don't let me blackout again...oh wait, cool album name alert!"

This will probably be neither the first nor last time that the words "Britney Spears" and "blackout" have appeared in a sentence. But how often has it happened in connection with a new album? Sadly Blackout (the album) is not a concept album in which Britney tries to reconstruct the events leading up to her waking up on the red tile floor of a 7-11 face-down in a pool of her own vomit. It has however been moved up a few weeks to thwart downloaders who want to deny Britney a big opening week.

Also back from the brink are the Backstreet Boys, this time minus original member Kevin Richardson who...ah hell, who really cares? Especially when The Eagles can top that story!

Yes 70s L.A. sleazy listening rockers The Eagles are back with Long Road Out of Eden their first all-new album since The Long Run lit up the charts while Jimmy Carter was President. Oh yeah, and it's only available from Wal-Mart on their own custom label. Self-righteous Walden Woods- saving Eagle Don Henley was unavailable for comment on this turn of events but Miami Vice multi-episode guest starrer Glenn Frey sets the record straight in this week's Billboard:

"I am in the business of selling records and I want to be in a place where we have the opportunity to sell the most records. It's also nice that Wal-Mart pays us a very lucrative royalty; a royalty that no record company could come close to matching. But that's because we are not a loss leader at Wal-Mart. If the Eagles put out a record at Warner or any other major record label, part of the reason they can't pay up is we've got to pay for all of the bad acts they sign and release."

Way to stick it to the next generation of Husker Dus Glenn!

Easily the coolest release of the week is the soundtrack to Todd Haynes Dylan fantasy biopic I'm Not There which features Sonic Youth, Cat Power, Steve Malkmus, Willie Nelson and many more.

Sometime Television guitar duellist Richard Lloyd re-appears with The Radiant Monkey.

Ex-Band-mate Levon Helm releases Dirt Farmer.

Music: Coming to Britney's Defense

I've already called out the members of the media (New York Post I'm talking about you) who unfairly focused on Britney's weight rather than her lousy performance and cheap wig. What I didn't realize was that a fan would create an eloquent and impassioned response to all of the criticism. Part of me feels bad for posting video of someone who is obviously disturbed but, hey, he's the one who posted it on the internets. Unless of course he looks at it as something that happened TO him, rather than BY him. He does say that Britney "lost her hair." Memo to nutty superfan: She may have lost her good wig, but she SHAVED her hair.

TV: MTV VMAs DOA

Britney -- rootsy of wig and meaty of bone: "You fellas shtay close..."

I didn't watch the MTV Video Music Awards. See, I figure if they won't play videos why should I watch their awards show. What expertise could they possibly have in this arena anymore? What are they -- YouTube? At this point MTV giving out awards for music videos is like ESPN giving out awards for architectural merit. That being said, news was made -- of the trashy and utterly ephemeral type. So far the round-up of reviews seems to be:

1) Britney stank. If you can't sing, at least learn to lip sync. More uncharitable have been the comments about her body. I think she actually looks good with a little tummy and if her "performance" wasn't so discombobulated she might have actually done some good for the ridiculous body image strictures that get shoved down people's throats. See the video while it lasts here .

2) Tommy Lee and Kid Rock had some sort of fight. It's not clear to me if this was over inflatable sex doll doppelganger Pamela Anderson, whether Mr. Lee or Mr. Rock has the more irrelevant career, or who has worse hygiene.

3) Kanye West is a big baby. He once again went on a verbal bender, this time against MTV and his loss in all five categories he was nominated in. Lighten up Kanye -- no-one takes these "awards" seriously.