This Week's Chart Beat

The Donnas sport that wind in your hair look

Sassy sitcom singer Reba McEntire's Duets album struts it's way into the number one spot on the Top 200 as both Kanye and 50 Cent see their album sales drop by an astounding 75% + each. Barry Manilow noses in at number four with his The Greatest Songs of The Seventies (no there's still no Clash or Cheap Trick on it) while spots 7 - 12 are filled with debuts from the likes of uber-sensitive soldier James Blunt, scowly Chamillionaire, cute multi-instrumentalist popster KT Tunstall, lyrical flow specialist Twista, Pearl Jam frontman and Bush effigy assaulter Eddie Vedder, and shift-key impaired band him. Diana Krall (Mrs. Declan MacManus to Elvis Costello) sees her Very Best at number 19 and all the way down at 89 are those sweet misspent youths The Donnas.

DVR Alert: SNL Announces Musical Guests

Spoon: Look in the 791. section...

Saturday Night Live has revealed the first batch of musical guests for this, their 93rd season. What, no Les Savvy Fav with Armisen behind the kit?

The fun starts September 29th with rhyme-challenged MC Kanye West, fresh from vanquishing 50 Cent.

Indie kids rejoice on October 6th when Spoon graces the stage at 30 Rock.

October 13th will see dave Grohl and his Foo Fighters tear it up joined by Jon Bon Jovi who will do it all -- host, play music, show up in sketches, and release a faux-country album.

This Weeks Chart Beat: West Bests Gritty Fitty

Hot Hot Heat: Someone always insists on looking in the wrong direction, wearing a different outfit and throwing off all sense of perspective with their freakishly tiny proportions...

By now we all know who came out on top in this week's Billboard Top 200 shootout: Black Francis. Hah, I wish! Kanye West wins fair and square with his Can and Daft Punk sampling Graduation logging almost a million units. 50 Cent has to settle for number two and a set of steak knives. Riding in at number three is Kenny Chesney, representing for the hat act brigade. Further down the big chart Feist proves once again that Madison Avenue is the new MTV as her Apple ad sends The Reminder back up from 95 to 44. Psych-jam weirdos Animal Collective storm the big time at number 72 with Strawberry Jam followed by Hot Hot Heat's Happiness LTD. at 86. Despite all this action sales are still down from the same week last year.

Music: Chart Beat -- Early Returns from The Precincts

Kanye and Cruise mistake the VMAs for the V-Jay Jays

Last night I was at the 14th Street Virgin megastore in New York City where Kanye West had a line waiting around the megablock for his signature on their copies of his new CD, Graduation. It seems like the relentless prom-ing, tantrum throwing and magazine cover-ing will payoff as the music industry gurus at Billboard are projecting Kanye to take the top slot on the chart next week. Meanwhile 50 Cent and Kenny Chesney are running neck-and-neck for number two. 50 Cent has said that he'll retire as a solo artist if he loses the top spot to West so he should be looking for a nice gated community in Florida right about now. No word yet on how the new dirty Projectors album is doing however. The best part of the article is when Billboard's researcher queried a "Northeast urban-oriented store" as to why their sales for both albums seemed a bit light for the first day. Replied the store, ""Of course, you realize Sept. 11 wasn't the release date in my store..."

Music News: This Weeks New Releases

Black Francis: "Uh hello...the elevators stuck..."

Al Queda aren't the only ones banking on September 11th to get some attention with a new release. This week sees a plethora, headlined by the much hyped Blur Versus Oasis 1995-esque matchup that is 50 Cent Vs. Kanye West (in this scenario 50 is the more popular but inevitably less interesting Oasis and Kanye is the bold, artsy, riding for a fall Blur -- see this Wikipedia entry for more info).

Sensitive folks who spell women with a "y" and those who love them will appreciate the double disc Ani DiFranco retrospective Canon.

The inimitable Frank Black reverts back to his Pixies moniker Black Francis for the rocking Bluefinger , a semi-concept album about Dutch artist and musician Herman Brood.

Shout Out Louds and Hot Hot Heat have new albums as well.

Cursive's Tim Kasher weighs in with his other band, The Good Life and their new album, the suggestively titled Help Wanted Nights.

Black Lips quote the heavenly Shangri-La's for the title of their new one, Good Bad but Not Evil, which has been getting good pre-release buzz.

Finally the Go! Team follow-up their infectious debut with Proof of Youth.

TV: MTV VMAs DOA

Britney -- rootsy of wig and meaty of bone: "You fellas shtay close..."

I didn't watch the MTV Video Music Awards. See, I figure if they won't play videos why should I watch their awards show. What expertise could they possibly have in this arena anymore? What are they -- YouTube? At this point MTV giving out awards for music videos is like ESPN giving out awards for architectural merit. That being said, news was made -- of the trashy and utterly ephemeral type. So far the round-up of reviews seems to be:

1) Britney stank. If you can't sing, at least learn to lip sync. More uncharitable have been the comments about her body. I think she actually looks good with a little tummy and if her "performance" wasn't so discombobulated she might have actually done some good for the ridiculous body image strictures that get shoved down people's throats. See the video while it lasts here .

2) Tommy Lee and Kid Rock had some sort of fight. It's not clear to me if this was over inflatable sex doll doppelganger Pamela Anderson, whether Mr. Lee or Mr. Rock has the more irrelevant career, or who has worse hygiene.

3) Kanye West is a big baby. He once again went on a verbal bender, this time against MTV and his loss in all five categories he was nominated in. Lighten up Kanye -- no-one takes these "awards" seriously.